I consider it important that everyone knows that no country or people are the same.
My Personal Spare Time Interests and Activities. My hobbies are paid by me and no-one else.
This is just one female perspective on life and work in Sweden. The male perspectives and other female perspectives are left for others to explain.
Choice of life
Everyone is entitled to create their own family traditions and customs.
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions.
You do not have to get married.
You can get married without any friends or relatives present.
You can have a funeral without any friends or relatives present.
A wedding and a funeral can be completely free from priests and religion.
You don't have to attend the wedding or the funeral of your friends or relatives.
You don't have to attend any celebration of your friends or relatives.
To Leave
In Sweden it's OK to leave everything and new interest often leads to that paths are diverting.
Swedes have: 'the ability to leave', and we do.
Life changes when you grow older, depending on what you have faced in life and what your interests are. It's better to grab an opportunity or take a risk, than stay put in some kind of safety, when it's time to move on to something new where your interests are appreciated.
Nothing can be taken for granted with a Swede: it's an opportunity and not a problem.
At one point in history Sweden lost 50% of its population to USA. Americans and residential Swedes can today be found all over the planet no matter where you go.
The wife of a Swedish King settled down in the south of Europe and refused to come back to Sweden. They stayed married but apart.
A Swedish Queen abdicated and moved to Italy and become a catholic. She is buried in Rome-Italy.
Some things just don't work out. The best thing to do is to know when to stop trying and leave for something else, i.e. open up for the market.
Swedes leave their jobs preferably in the spring when the rivers/lakes/seas again are sailable or in the autumn before the ice sets for the winter. The worst thing that can happen is to be left behind on a job that they preferably would like to leave.
Those with anchors that can be pulled up and lowered can always sail away to new destinations and they themselves choose when.
The only options non-tax financed businesses have in Sweden during tougher economical periods are to dismiss part of their staff or to close down.
Sweden offers options and what's right for you is up to you.
If you do not dare to take a risk in everything you do, you do not know how to live. Swedes take risks with or without parachutes. The benefit of jumping without a parachute is that you hit the ground faster and that may be an advantage depending on what your plans are.
Entitlement
Husband and wife are not necessarily entitled to each other's money and fortune.
People not married and living together are not necessarily entitled to each other’s money and fortune, not even if they have kids.
Their children are not necessarily entitled to their parents' money and fortune.
Their relatives are in most cases not entitled to their money and fortune, and not necessarily ever.
Parents are not necessarily entitled to their children's money and fortune.
The Swedish state or any church are not necessarily entitled to anyone's money and fortune.
Who's entitled to what is completely up to every living human.
Who's entitled to someone's business is determined by the owners.
A business is not necessarily entitled to any owner's private personal money or fortune. Every owner determines how much to invest and when to no longer invest in anything.
Marriage, giving birth or running a business will not necessarily entitle you to someone else's private personal money or wealth; in life, in a split up, in divorce or after death.
You are only entitled to your own money and fortune.
The Swedish state is entitled to a defined percentage of your income and your profits. You are free to leave Sweden and settle down somewhere else.
The Swedish state is entitled to a defined percentage of every business profit. You are free to close down your business and not start another.
The church you belong to is entitled to a small percentage of your income and your profits. You are free to leave the church and not join another.
A marriage does not entitle anyone to any money, or any business and you are free to marry anyone. Every married couple is free to get a divorce and not get married again.
A mother or a father is not necessarily entitled to their children at divorce. You are free to walk out from your partner and your children and not return.
Everyone is entitled to earn their living the way they prefer. You are free to walk out from your job, your businesses, your family, your relatives and not return.
A marriage isn't a necessity in Sweden and the marriage terms are very Swedish. Sometimes couples get better terms by not marrying each other since a marriage doesn't entitle them to anything.
Marriage and kids don't necessarily entitle to tax reductions, and they don't provide you status or social benefits.
Responsibility
Parents are not responsible for their grown-up children in any way.
The children are not responsible for their parents in any way.
Grown up children are not responsible for each other in any way.
Relatives are not responsible for each other in any way.
Neighbors are not responsible for each other in any way.
Parents don't expect to be cared for by their children.
Parents are not expected to take care of their adult children.
People don't expect to be cared for by their relatives.
Announce your visit and intentions
Announcing your visit and intentions has become commonplace. You will be considered weird if you just show up at the door and the door will stay closed.
Sending a text or an email is considered more polite than a phone call. Many people are busy and they don't want to be interrupted.
If your employment contract doesn't restrict it, you are allowed turn off your work phone during meetings and during off hours.
If you are asked to have your phone on during off hours, you should be paid for those hours, or it is against legal agreements.
It's not considered appropriate to contact someone in personal matters on they work phone or work email.
You can't expect to find people at home, and they want privacy. People work different hours and sometimes strange hours, they travel at work and have vacation whenever. Some have interests outside their homes and at strange hours. People may work from home or have remote meetings at any hours.
Our lifestyles have changed, and our customs must follow. A home is not open to everyone and those who live there determines who they let in and when.
A very close community with no outsiders still have an open-door policy. They are not found in major cities.
If you are stressed, you might live with an open door policy. Anyone and especially those with busy lives can limit their own open door policy whether they work in an open office environment or not. If you're too stressed, slam the door in everyone else's face.
If you cannot separate your job and your personal life, then divorce the job or your family and figure out what to do next.
I like open office environments and it is no problem to define one's own personal space in such an environment.
Today, people do not stop what they are doing to answer the phone, open the door or watch TV. They answer the phone when they have time, the same goes for the door and the TV. If you want to get in touch with someone, send a text or email with your intentions and your preferred way of being contacted and people will get back to you when they have a minute to spare.
People have learned that sellers do not leave messages on missed calls and the phone numbers are blocked if there is no message. People change behavior if it's possible and they no longer will let TV, phones or other people rule their lifes.
Phone, text and email policies
An email can await action and be processed when appropriate.
A text can be urgent or not.
A phone call may or may not be urgent.
A missed phone call without a message on the answering service can be put on hold and dealt with when appropriate, it's not urgent.
A misuse of text messages and phone calls may result in on hold actions even if it turns to be urgent at some point.
Communicate with the right level of urgency and choose an appropriate tool for it. People are busy and have lives, respect that.
I communicate via email 99.99% of the time.
If I'm not sure if it's urgent and I don't want to disturb, I send a text and it's up to the receiver to determine the urgency.
If it's urgent an email and a phone call with a message to the answering service if required. I know how to shout in an email, loud communication doesn't bother me.
There are very few things that cannot wait.
We
I grew up with 'I' and 'you'.
Some Swedes and Swedish schools had a problem with anything except 'we'.
I have abandoned 'we' in all cases where 'I' or 'you' can be used.
An 'I' can make decisions independently of everyone else.
'We' can get stuck in disagreement forever.
Diplomacy is a 'we' effort and not an 'I' effort.
An 'I' effort is something that affects just the 'I' as a single individual and not the 'we' community even if the 'we' doesn't always approve, but it's not up to them to approve.
A group can sometimes present itself as a 'we' community without having a solid foundation of 'we', they cannot accomplish anything.
The 'I's and those with a solid foundation of 'we' don't fear change.
I have no problem being part of a 'we' constellation at work, but outside of work I prefer to be an 'I'. I have no problem of being an 'I' at work if required.
Level of Service
The ancient fact still stands - those who are prepared to pay, will get service - those who don't, will have service thereafter.
Swedish prices
All items in stores for ordinary people have a price tag with the total price to pay including VAT.
All service products have a predefined total price which includes VAT and service fees.
You receive a receipt with the VAT and the total price incl VAT and service fees.
Taxes
The Swedish income tax is 30-50%.
The Swedish tax on capital profits is 30%.
There is a VAT of 6% on newspapers, books, museums, taxi fares, buses, trains and flights in Sweden.
A VAT of 12% is added to food, hotel nights and restaurant visits without alcohol.
A VAT of 25% is added to alcohol and restaurant visits with alcohol.
The liquor stores with high prices and high taxes are owned by the Swedish state.
There is no custom to tip in Sweden. The way Swedes tip is by ordering something extra and not just go for what's in 'all included'.
There is no custom to say 'Thank you' in Sweden. "Thank you" is a kind of tip.
All items in stores and all services for ordinary people have a price tag with the total price to pay including VAT of 25 %.
All services you hire for your apartment will have a VAT of 25%. Make sure that the offers you receive are with or without VAT to avoid unpleasant surprises.
Buildings with condominiums, land and business premises are taxed at 0.3-1% of the assessment value or with a maximun annual amount. Taxation of buildings is a bit of a mess and they are all taxed differently.
Corporation tax in Sweden is 20% of the profit.
The employer's tax in Sweden is 31% of the employee's salary before tax.
The TV license is paid and added when we declare our taxes.
Where I live and where I chose to work has nothing to do with the Swedish taxes. I live where I want to live, and I choose to work where I would like to work based on my interests and my terms for employment.
If I had problems with the Swedish taxes, I would have left Sweden years ago, but I didn't, I'm still here. My reasons for leaving Sweden would be completely different.
If someone thinks they can offer me something somewhere else, they have no idea what I want. They base everything on their own desires, which are never mine and this is the reason why I'm not interested in marketing and sales or politics or religion.
If I would like to sell my apartment or my belongings, I would hire someone to sell them for me.
I will not code any SW unless I'm hired to do so.
I will not do any art work unless it's needed for my interiors in my apartment or I'm hired to do so.
I will not do any interiors or interior designs for anyone but myself.
I will not buy anything for anyone but myself.
I will not make anything for anyone but myself when unemployed.
I will not help anyone with anything when unemployed unless I'm paid for the services and prepared to help.
I'm not interested in flea or second-hand markets.
I do what I want during the recession when there are no jobs. I will finance myself without any grants from anywhere. I prioritize freedom and independence in unemployment during a recession over tax funding.
When I have a job, I have no problem working odd hours, any day of the week or overtime. But the terms must be agreed upon and included in the contract. I say no to anything that is not in the contract.
I'm not interested in jobs in tax funded companies, not everyone can be supported by tax funds.
I'm not interested in jobs in the small business sector.
EBTDA
EBITDA = Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization. It's common in all businesses.
EBTDA = Earnings Before Tax Deduction Accounting. It's used in Sweden by those who have/would like to have tax deductions.
In Sweden, you have to spend money and have an income to be able to claim tax deductions. In a turning economy, EBTDA should be considered when something needs attention and EBTDA points to accepting expenses in favor of deductions.
If you don't want expenses / have something that needs attention / have an income, then EBTDA is not for you.
I have experience of EBTDA when the economy is going down and when it's on it's way up. I prefer EBTDA when it's on it's way up and I'll stick to the upside from now on. I believe it's better that we hit the bottom as fast as possible and there will not be any help from me to keep businesses up and running based on taxes when we are on our way down. Businesses interested in surviving a recession should have a financial plan in place.
In Sweden, you don't have to own a company or be a gambler to have a business mindset. A company can also limit you and your choices, but that's up to you. Not all "business minded" people know how to be business minded with their own finances.
The 'Swedish' kitchen
The kitchen which is considered as being Swedish is actually French and Danish imports.
It's hard to find traditional Swedish kitchens and every city in Sweden have restaurants from all over the planet and Swedes love foreign food.
Once again, the Vikings and the East India companies made a pretty good job in the past. The taste palette of Swedes is global and the food prepared today in Swedish homes are dishes from all over the planet.
Swedish men aswell as women cook for themselves and for family and friends.
Swedish men and women eat in restaurants, alone or with someone else.
Swedish married couples are no exception.
Swedish men cook, drink wine, take care of dishes, clean, do laundry, do gardening and they take care of children & pets.
Swedish women wash cars & mc's, drive car/mc, take care of finances, work, drink beer, do DIY at home, do gardening, hunt & fish anf they send their loved ones to their mother to get some own time.
Not all women or men are suited for everything and it's better to choose what to do and share the tasks no one likes or pay for service. It's up to everyone to decide what they prefer to do in a household.
If you live on your own, you have to do everything yourself or pay someone for the service. Which services you prefer to pay for is up to you.
If you want to marry a Swede, you better be prepared to get out of every comfort zone you have.
There are Swedish couples who pay for everything, but it is not common.
There are Swedish couples where the woman doesn't work and they expect their husband to pay generously for everything, but it is not common.
Common practice is to do it yourself or pay for it. The majority do almost everything themselves and pay for something occasionally.
The color black
There are people in Sweden who don't like the color black, and I've never understood why. You'll find them in fashion and everywhere else.
They just hate the color without explaining why. They can wear what they want, and I wear what I prefer.
Personally, I like black in everything, but I don't like Goth - it's not my style.
Misinterpretation of language
Every language is an extension of a culture.
If you do not understand the foreign culture in a country, you will translate a foreign language according to your own culture. You will lose a lot and you may end up as a loser in a negotiation team.
Managers and all of the above should have a thorough education in their own culture and in all other cultures of interest.
Moderat djävul
Moderat devil = non-religious Tory.
Religious freedom
Sweden has freedom of religion. It includes that you don't have to believe in anything religious, don't have to be a member of any church and you are accepted by the society.
Unorganised
Sweden and Swedish employers accept unorganised employees, you don't have to a member of any workers union or a member of any kind of networks.
If you are not a member in any workers unions, you are entitled to the benefits provided by the employer but not to the services or benefits provided by workers unions.
You can turn down any benefits that don't suit you.
Hore
Hore is something that almost have vanished from the Swedish language.
Hore is used for:
- people in the professional sexual trade, man or woman
- female mosquitos
- man/woman married/not married living in a relation with a partner and who's supported financially by their partner. This is not flattering for Sweden, but it is a fact in the language and culture and is mainly used by those who are not interested in supporting anyone financially.
- All other usages are incorrect and hore is not associated with lifestyles, fashion styles or art in any way.
In Sweden, hore is incorrectly used by immigrants and visitors who have not adapted themselves to the Swedish language or culture and who are from a culture with a different usage.
Future society
Change is a slow process when changing fundamentals, it cannot be forced. Slow paced patience is required, acceptance takes time. If it ends in a fight, both sides are to blame one moves too quickly towards change and the other is not open to change.
Teddy bear
Swedes call their mobile phone Nalle (= Teddy bear). Where's my 'Nalle', means they've lost their phone.
Their teddies usually have a name and their phones are called Nalle.
My teddy bear was called Nalle, and my cell phone is just a phone - nameless.
Swedish ceilings
Low ceilings: Provides a restrictive and disallowing lifestyle.
High ceilings: Provides an allowing and approving lifestyle.
Open roof top: No rules apply, and you can go wild.
Glass ceilings / roof: There is an invisible hard-top to exclude people. Diamonds can break them, but not necessarily. Brutal force will not help and usually something else is required.
Low ceiling and people often will have a problem with me and my lifestyle.
I have worked in businesses with ceilings and roofs of all sorts, and I have no need or desire to get through a hard top. A hard top doesn't bother me and I don't give a shit about diamonds.
If anyone is interested in forcing me through a glass ceiling - Good luck! - I'm not interested, choose someone else. Getting on top of a glass ceiling doesn't add up to anything for me.
An office is not just an office. It's a place where the business can market and promote itself to customers, employees and visitors through architecture, technology, interior design and art. These kinds of businesses want to be part of something else and promote change in other areas than just their own business.
Pushing the ceiling upwards often comes with the disapproval of a huge majority, but once the ceiling is established at a higher level it is accepted by most.
Low ceiling and I get kicked out fast or I choose to leave if it can't be raised. I'm very comfortable with high ceilings and open roof tops, and I don't mind glass roofs.
Titles
Titles are of no value in Sweden and no-one cares.
English spoken countries specify the management levels and they spread levels around - litter with them.
In Sweden you just are a manager, and no levels are required - a manager is a low-level non important person, someone has to be the administrative clerk with a list of low-level authorities and responsibilities.
All team leader, PL, PA, PO and management positions that I know of have been administrative.
Size differs depending on who you are
For a developer, a large system is millions of lines of code divided into subsystems, front and backend, interfaces, integrations, etc.
A large system requires order and structure in order to be manageable.
For an architect, a large system is something else.
For operational services a large system is something else entirely.
For customers, size shouldn't matter and they shouldn't care, something else should be more important.
Fish ponds
Swedish employers find their employees in four waters: The large one, the consultant services ponds, the head hunting ponds and in the experienced free waters.
1. In the large fishing waters, there are a lot of people eager to accept any offer.
2. In the consulting service dams there are people who have been selected by the service company and they usually get them from the big waters.
3. In headhunting ponds there are people who have been selected by the headhunters according to very specific requirements.
4. In the experienced free waters there are people who don't swim in the big waters or in any of the service pond as there is not much they can offer these free people. Here employers can find anything, but they have to be able to fish and bait the hook. Most employers go home empty-handed, and they will get what they are willing to put in.
Pike is not a problem. If someone sees pike as a problem, they have promised the position to a relative/friend/someone they owe a favor to before the ad was released.
I have never fought for a job and I never will. If you are interested in a fighter - I'm not for you.
Shoe a horse
Putting heel irons on one's shoes is the same as shoeing a horse.
A horse trots in Sweden and wild galloping is something imported. Many Swedes take a gallop round every morning before work.
Trotting saves energy and you go further than if you gallop. Trotting gives you time to think and reconsider, very few situations call for a gallop.
The probability of reaching the correct final destination is higher if you trot than if you gallop. Many boards have a trailing anchor to reduce speed and veto that can drag you in another direction - you'll get where you want to go if you can cooperate with the anchor and the veto. People who are afraid of change should not be board members of companies on the path of change, there is no reason why they should not be business owners - they just need to stick to their type of business and board members.
Retirement
Sweden has an age when you are allowed to retire (64-67) but there is no age when you are forced to retire, and you can keep on working as long as you want to.
You are legally allowed to work until you are 69.
AND you are legally allowed to negotiate with your employer when to retire > 69 and you can continue to work as long as you can, and your employer allows.
You can be employed or work on consultant contracts after 69 and retire when you want.
If you are healthy and do like your profession there is no need to retire if you don't want to.
Off grid living is an option for a very few
Living off the grid will not be an option in major cities with high-rise buildings.
Living off the grid is an option in single-family houses in araes where off grid is allowed and in rural areas where the community don't want to finance sewage system, water and electricity systems for households to connect to. The community finance the construction of the systems with taxes and every household finance their building and everything required to the connection points. Every person and business with income and every building has to pay tax on an annual basis.
Weird situations
If you end up in any weird situation where you feel that you have not got all info, you are asked about weird things and you are told weird things about you or others, then you don't have to stick to any truths. You can stay silent, come up with anything except things that are truth or start asking questions - it's up to you.
The only situation you should stick to the truth is when you have been given all the facts, and nothing has been hidden from you.
When people are lying to you or hiding facts from you, you are allowed to do whatever feels right at the moment except telling the truths. If you deliver false facts the situation may escalate, and you have to be prepared to deal with that. Delivering false facts is one way to of asking 'questions' and unexpected things may pop up.
If you want some facts from someone, you should ask them and no one else and explain why you would like to know with no facts hidden.
It's OK to lie if you're being lied to. Liars don't deserve the truth - feel free to deliver whatever or nothing and leave everyone else out of it.
If you want to find out the truth, start telling the truth yourself before you confront anyone else. A messy situation may blow up in your face and you have to be able to deal with it.
No one can ever tell the truth about anyone else, and they shouldn't even try. All truths presented by a third person will always be lies and half-truths.
Renovation hysteria
The Swedish renovation hysteria of homes and gardens occurs in the spring, summer and a bit into the autumn. It starts at the Easter holidays and ends at the start of the hunting season in autumn.
Everyone in the family is involved, those who don't want to renovate will be responsible for the food, the planning of activities and day trips and everything else.
Since there is a lot of dry time, renovations start early and the day will be spent on the beach, on activities or day trips, or on shopping to not disturb the drying process. The evening is spent fixing minor mistakes and preparing everything for the next day and leaving it to dry overnight.
Renovation is a family thing and with holidays and public holidays well spent. The only ones who may suffer are relatives, but they can visit and participate in the renovation. They can renovate, cook, or help with anything – walk the dog, do laundry, cleaning, babysit, shop and plan mutual shoppping, find missing things, hand thing over, collect info for mutual decisions, disposal service, etc.
The bigger the city, the longer it takes to shop, it has to be well planned. Usually, a whole day will be wasted from renovation in Stockholm.
Growing up I was always on the renovation team and not the support team. Both teams need to plan and have a budget, you better stick to the budget or find the money somewhere else. I have always left my management positions, I believe I'm not a support person but a doer.
If you renovate without a support team, things will take time and there will be days when you spend time on everything but the renovation, a good thing is to have a nice restaurant nearby - you have to eat! I do DIY and the work goes slower because I have no support from anyone, but I consider it a good thing because it gives me time to rethink. I also hire services for the jobs I'm happy to hire out to someone, and I take care of the whole hiring process without support from anyone. There are days when I'm happy to eat out during a renovation.
A renovation isn't a 24-7 thing, not even during vacation. You can live in a renovation site 24-7 and for as long as it takes to finish it.
A several year long renovation should set a new budget and a new schedule every year. I.e. just a one year budget and plan, and you should postpone the work if necessary.
You will learn that chaos in a creative process and its nothing to fear. You have to learn to keep order in a chaotic environment to not waste time unnecessarily. You also need to be prepared to get some bruises, some people call them renovation tattoos and they will fade away by time.
I do all my DIY on my apartment and all my support tasks myself and I'm happy to hire help with some of the renovation tasks I have on my apartment. At work, I accept that part of my working time is spent on management issues, but I don't accept full-time management jobs.
It is up to you which skills you will master in a lifetime, which ones you will hire, which ones will become hobbies, and which ones will become your profession. We are all different and we want different lives, any market that wants to provide jobs, services and goods should be aware of that fact.
Shoe soles and wallpaper adhesives
Swedes love shoe soles and wallpaper adhesives, and it's served in three versions in Swedish restaurants: an Italian version, a Swedish version and a French version sometimes called 'Swedish bouillabaisse' which originates from the Swedish west coast. The Italian version has lumps. All very child friendly dishes and they are loved by all ages, it's the flavors that make the dish.
High end restaurant chefs freak out over wallpaper adhesives. The actual reason may be that chefs in high end restaurants don't dare to season, and no one likes tasteless food.
If the wallpaper adhesive is intended to be used to put up wallpaper on a wall, different rules apply than in a kitchen.
The Swedes and the French find lumps unacceptable no matter of usage.
Get a life
A life is something that's individual for everyone.
For a gamer life can be multiple lives.
For some, life may be children.
For others, life may be time with friends and relatives.
For some, life can be time alone.
For some, life may be starting up something.
For others, life can be learning new skills.
For some, life might be beating the latest record.
For some, life might be a divorce or a job change.
For others, life can be relocating somewhere else.
For others, life can be a fresh start with everything changed.
For some, life is about spending money.
For others, life is about spending as little as possible.
For some, life is about being creative.
Life can be anything and it's up to you.
If you don't like other people's lives, say so instead of telling them to get a life.
Those who suggest people to get a life should instead explain what they consider a life to be - their life may be something that doesn't appeal to everyone.
Life in Sweden
Life in Sweden may differ from life in other places.
To some extent I'm more American than Swedish, even though I'm not American in any way. I'm not interested in an American lifestyle or in an European small business lifestyle.
I have never wanted to settle in the US, but I have enjoyed vacations there. I will not settle down in any other country or get a second home anywhere.
I have not enjoyed my Mediterranean vacations even though the majority of Swedes travel there. A significant number of Swedes travel to Asia and the Nordic countries. The rest of the world will have to settle for a lower number of Swedish visitors - I have always traveled the rest of the world in every different direction, why travel where everyone else is travelling. I traveled to Stockholm alone for many years before moving here and I was sent to different places alone during my PhD studies. I discovered that I enjoyed visiting new places and traveling on my own without company, which resulted in me traveling the world solo today - I don't travel to meet people or to spend time with people.
